Hey, everyone, welcome back to the couples healing podcast. I’m excited for this episode, because in the last one, we talked all about the addiction. And I think it’s so important for both people, the husband and the wife, or the the boyfriend, the girlfriend, the two partners to each understand what is at the core of addiction. That episode wasn’t just for him, it’s so critical that she also understands what that what’s at the core of it, how you can actually resolve it, because that will help give her confidence to know that he’s working on the things that are going to bring the result in the relationship and within himself individually. It’s such an important piece for her to understand as well to know, the D addiction isn’t about her. It’s about his inability to cope. And there’s lots of things that I shared in the episode that I think it’d be very, very helpful in terms of making progress. So I would encourage you guys to go back and listen to it if you haven’t yet. And in this episode, we’re going to talk all about the impact that this is having on her, which is again, equally important for both partners to understand, so they can know what to do, and how they can work together to resolve the pain that it causes her, and what’s necessary to take steps forward. So many couples are looking for a path forward after there has been damage done by a pornography addiction. After working with hundreds of couples, as a therapist, I want you to know that there is hope for you hope for your relationship to become stronger, to rebuild the trust and the connection and to rid the addiction from your lives permanently. And in this podcast, I’ll be sharing with you the tools and the strategies that you need to heal both individually and in your relationship. My name is Sam Tielemans, and welcome to the couples healing podcast. Okay, like I said, Today, we’re going to be talking all about the impact that this has on her. And I think for so many people, it can be just this overwhelming experience, and they don’t know how to make sense of it. They don’t understand why this is so painful. Sometimes the husband doesn’t understand why this is impacting her so much. And they don’t realize that what she’s going through is very, very normal. And so I first wanted to start off by talking about the impact that it has on a female or a wife, when she discovers that her partner that her husband is struggling with an addiction to pornography. What happens internally is that they feel like they’re going crazy. And I think I get a lot of questions from women asking is like what’s normal? What should I be experiencing? What am I am I going crazy, because what they describe as their experience is when they find out or after their husband slips, especially though when they first find out that there’s a problem. They’re filled with a sense of shock. And they never anticipated that they would be struggling with this kind of a challenge in the relationship. And it invokes a lot of fear in them. Fear of inadequacy, fear of not knowing fear of how do we resolve this fear of not having the full truth and trying to figure out what is true and what isn’t true throughout the entire course of the relationship. So many women also experienced a sense of panic. And their fears, create these racing thoughts where the mind just goes 1000 miles a minute. And it just is pouring over old conversations is jumping around thoughts are going too fast. And you remember old conversation, conversations and events, and dread can fill their stomach as they feel like things are just collapsing on them. They’re trying to make sense of things. But it’s just so overwhelming. It’s very common for a woman to question everything. And for nothing to feel true or right. It redefines the relationship from the very beginning. And oftentimes the women think that the whole thing was a lie. So there’s a one of the reasons why it’s so important that that both the both men and women understand the impact of this because it can be easy to get overwhelmed, and not have any idea if what you’re experiencing is what other people experience. There’s a few women who have said that. One woman said I feel more angry than I ever have been. In fact, I don’t know if I could feel much angrier all the time. I didn’t know I could feel this angry. Why? Another woman put it this way after having found out about my husband, I can’t sleep I’m always anxious. And when I see my husband, I want to hurt him one moment and then I want him to hold me the next moment. My emotions are all over the place. Is there something wrong with me?
There’s a study that was done out of the University of out of Purdue University and what they found as they did these brain scans. They found that social isolation and rejection are processed in the same part of the brain as physical pain. So what that means is whether you step on a nail, or whether you’re rejected in your significant relationship, the brain doesn’t know the difference. They’re both danger cues. And so often people will say, some, but somebody asked me what what would I say to a woman after they find out that their partner or husband is struggling with an addiction, the first thing that I want to say is, whatever you’re feeling is, okay? It’s completely normal to feel like you’re on a roller coaster multiple times a day, whether there’s anger or fear, or sadness, or betrayal, or a longing to be close to him. All of this is completely normal. So it’s very important that the spouse that the wife knows that it’s okay for her to feel however she does, there is no right or wrong. Whatever she’s going through is okay. And so often people are wondering why why does this happen? Why is this such an impactful event? Or challenge for this to be a part of the relationship? Why does this impact her so much? I remember when I was a student, I went to a workshop that completely changed the course of my entire career. In this workshop, it was all about how to help couples heal, and what’s at the core, or the foundation of them being able to get close to one another, have a successful relationship communicate, have a fulfilling sexual relationship as well. How do you create just a, an excellent relationship is all about that. And one of the things that they talked about was that we as human beings are wired for connection, we’re wired to rely on a significant other person. And as we let them in, it helps to create a sense of fulfillment. It helps us to create a sense of inner confidence and balance, because we are not wired to be alone. It’s this idea of attachment theory, that’s the fancy word that they use. The phrase is attachment theory, or in other words, we are designed as human beings to connect with another person on an emotional level and have significant relationships with people. And it’s so important because this goes directly to the heart of why women are so impacted. or husbands if their wife struggles with this as well, why people are so impacted when they find out that their partner is struggling with a sexual addiction or a pornography addiction. It’s because most people have the value or belief that sexual intimacy or attention is something that should be reserved only for your significant relationship for your significant other and no one else. And so what happens is, when she finds out that her husband struggles with an addiction, she realizes that his attention and his focus, his energy has gone to someone or something else. And it can be completely disorienting, and it can shatter that sense of closeness that she thought she had. Because she had anticipated that all of that energy or attention to be going towards her. But to find out there was something else that came between them disrupts this attachment bond. Again, that’s a fancy way of saying it disrupts the sense of connection and safety, that she feels within that significant relationship. You see what I mean?
Sometimes the husbands will say, well, it’s not that big of a deal, or I don’t get it, I see that she’s really hurt. And yes, I know that. I believe what I’m doing is it’s not it doesn’t align with my values. But I don’t understand why she’s so impacted. Because it’s not even real. I’m just looking at I’m not touching anybody. It’s not, it’s just images on the screen. It’s not even real. So that’s oftentimes what I’ll hear people say, it’s so important to recognize that it doesn’t have to be a physical experience, to still come between to have that sexual energy or attention go somewhere else. Even if it’s not, quote unquote, real, even if it’s images on a screen, that attention is still going to that instead of your spouse, which is why it’s such an overwhelming experience, because it feels like it undermines the entire relationship because something is coming between you two, which is why is it so difficult for people again, social isolation and rejection is quoted in the same place of the brain as physical pain. The wife often experiences this as complete rejection. And she can feel emotionally isolated. Because the expectation was, this is going to be something that’s reserved for us in this relationship. That is why this is so overwhelming for them. Now, there are so many different ways that they are impacted by finding out that there’s an addiction or a challenge that kind of that struggle or problem in their relationship. I want to go through five of them and share with you a bit about what each of these for the purpose of helping you understand that what you’re feeling is normal and fair to have in order to help the husband understand what she’s going through. Because a lot of times he doesn’t fully understand. And so I want to share with you five of these ways that she’s impacted. So it’s much easier for each of you to understand. And then we’re going to talk about what do you do in order to resolve and to heal. The first one, the most common by far and away the most common impact that she experiences as a result of finding out is that she feels like she’s not enough. So why does this happen? When women find out that their husband’s struggling with this issue, immediately, she’s thinking about, well, what was he watching? And I know that with pornography, it’s fake, these images can be doctored and what they’re seeing on the screen, number one isn’t real, or I hope that they know this, at least it’s an it’s an act, it’s all dramatized. It’s not reality. This is a part of why when people say, Well, I want to use pornography, because again, there’s two camps. One camp says pornography is not that big of an issue. And the other camp, who are you, the listeners know that it is an issue in your relationship. So the other camp will say, it’s not that big of an issue. And it’s a benefit, because you can get sex, sex education, from pornography, that’s the worst place that you can get education about intimacy, because it’s all fake. And so when she finds out that her husband struggling with this, she instantly feels like there’s no possible way that she will be able to compare with any of the images that her husband is looking at. So she withdraws intimacy, their sexual relationship is negatively impacted most of the time, she can develop body image issues that might not have been there in the past, or they’re just made worse because of this discovery. And she just feels completely inadequate and unable to feel like she’s okay. Because of what she, because of how she’s taking this as I can’t compare to these images. And this makes it very difficult because number one, this shatters her self esteem. Number two, it’s so difficult for her to believe his reassurance. If he were to say, Honey, I think you’re beautiful, she’s going to she’s not going to be able to take that in, it’s going to be very difficult, we want her to be able to and there’s a process by which this is again, this, there’s a ton of good work that people can do, to start to be able to internalize those things, and understand on a deeper level how to heal. But in the beginning, it’s very difficult for her to take that reassurance that she is beautiful that she is pretty that she is sexy, she is enough. Because, again, this idea in her mind that says i’m not i’m not enough. And if I was enough, then you wouldn’t have been looking at those pictures. This is why I want to encourage you guys to go back to listening to the episode previous to this to help you understand what’s at the core of addiction because truly, it’s critical that you’re that you hear this, that you understand this that a sexual addiction is not about sex. It is not because somebody’s libido is too high. It’s not because they’re seeking somebody else or something
else.
Because what they have in this relationship with you is not enough, it has nothing to do with those things. A sexual addiction is a way that somebody has developed to cope with negative feelings about themselves or a situation that they’re going through. It’s a way to manage pain. And I know that might be difficult for her to internalize in the early stages of this process of healing. But getting this education to truly understand addiction and what drives it and what’s at the root of it is critical. So you can start to separate yourself from his actions. Because truly, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t look like what you do or don’t do in the bedroom. It has nothing to do with those things. They’re separate. And addiction is a way to cope. It’s a way to cope with pain. So I want to make sure that that is so clear. And we can talk more about this throughout this process throughout these episodes in this journey. Because we truly want to heal from the impact of this. But the first step is to understand what is addiction actually about. One thing one other thing that I’ll add is, yeah, whether or not maybe this will help some people who are listening because sometimes I work with women who say, Well, I’m not enough because my husband cheated on then I say well, what makes you enough? Well, if I was pretty enough, he wouldn’t cheat. And then then I say well think about all these celebrities who are like on magazines and who are esteemed as some of the most attractive people. affairs are happening all the time. I think about i don’t know i i’m not a big follower of pop culture, but I am. everybody’s familiar with Jay Z and Beyonce. So many people, men and women think Beyonce is a very attractive person. Yeah. Jay Z had an affair on her. So if that was true, if you were enough, if you were beautiful enough, and he wouldn’t have an A, he wouldn’t have stepped out, then there are so many examples. There are literally countless examples of people who are attractive, good looking people, men and women, both when their partner has an affair, and that has nothing to do with their looks. So whether I hope that helps somebody just to start to challenge that idea that, well, if I was better looking, or if I did XYZ, this wouldn’t have happened. The reality is, the wife did not cause this problem. And so often the problem is brought into the relationship because it develops long before they even met. So again, I just wanted to reiterate, this has nothing to do with her looks. And it’s important that she knows this to start to challenge this idea that she’s not enough. Okay, number two, this is a, this is getting one of the most common ones, that the trust is completely gone. And no, that’s not a big shocker for anybody who’s listening that the trust isn’t there. And one of the reasons why I wanted to highlight this is because in the one of the launch episodes, Jeff stewar, who is who’s he’s a therapist in St. George, he said something that I will never forget. And one of the inner in that interview that we did, if you haven’t listened to it, I would encourage you to go back and check it out. It’s so good. He’s got such sharp ideas. He said, it’s not the crime. It’s the cover up. When I heard that, I thought that’s exactly that’s exactly what it is. And yes, there is an impact when she finds out about the addiction, yes, that’s going to impact her Yes, that’s going to cause damages and damage on the trust level. However, so much of the the agony that the women feel, and the complete lack of trust is centered around the behaviors around the addiction, the lying, the minimizing the gaslighting, being defensive, doing these things, or avoiding doing these things are a huge part, especially the lying and the hiding. That’s the thing that damages the trust the most. Because there’s different aspects of trust, there can be trust that, okay, my partner is going to be faithful in the relationship, there’s another layer of trust that says I will, I can trust my partner that he will be open with me. So even if there are slips along the way, he can actually build trust in the relationship by simply being completely honest
about what’s happened. Because she knows my partner is going to come and talk to me if anything happens, therefore, I can trust that he’ll be open and transparent. That’s a part of what builds trust in that category on in that facet of trust. And so when the trust is gone, the relationship just limps along. There really is no strong relationship, the connection is gone, the safety is gone, their ability to make progress is gone. And so a key component when it comes to healing, the relationship is rebuilding the trust, getting things back on track, having honesty, having transparency, because trust, once that trust is there, then your got you and then couples are able to move forward and start to heal. But if he’s not being honest, and she doesn’t feel like there’s any transparency, and it’s more lying more hiding, again, the trust is completely gone. And again, I know this is not a surprise to you. But I wanted to highlight the thing that causes the most damage in the relationships of most of the women that I work with are the surrounding behaviors. Like I said, the lying, the minute, the hiding, and the things that go with that. And so it’s important to know that trust can be built in the relationship, even if somebody doesn’t have, even if the addiction is still showing up now. And again, there can still be progress made in that area, if you focus on different aspects of the trust piece of things. And ultimately, we want to work towards eradicating the addiction so it doesn’t ever show up again. And all along the way people can still make progress, even if that’s something that they’re still a challenge or a struggle with. The third thing that I wanted to highlight is so often, a woman is impacted and she relives the event over and over and over again. They call it intrusive thoughts, where it’s constantly on her mind. She’s always thinking about it, it can make it difficult for her to focus and concentrate. It can be difficult for her to sleep because our mind is racing so much. why that’s the case is because the mind one of the ways that it tries to process things is to think through them and try to create closure. trauma is what it is because there is like a fragmenting of our understanding. We can’t make sense Have it, things don’t add up. And when we don’t have closure, our brain feels unsettled our emotion, our nervous system feels unsettled, we have to create closure. This is a part of why, again, there’s different aspects of the healing process. One of them is to be able to make sense out of what happened. Again, in the previous episode, we talked about the addiction, if she doesn’t understand the addiction, if she doesn’t understand what went on, if there was an affair in the relationship or a breach of trust, in any other way, if she doesn’t have an understanding as to what happened, how it happened, there’s no way for her to feel at peace because she thinks, well, if I don’t know what happened, and he doesn’t know what happened, then it could happen again, therefore, I can’t let my guard down, I always have to protect myself. So the mind just spirals and it spins in the racing thoughts. The intention behind that is the brain and the mind are trying to create closure and make sense of those events. So she can feel balanced again. The hyper vigilance, the fear, the scanning for danger, the mind tries to replay things in an attempt to resolve it. And so this is critical for everybody to understand the process of healing, then to Yes, we’re talking about the impact than the symptoms. But the symptoms and the impact can reveal the path to healing. So what we need to do in order to create stability, internally, is to make sense of the events in a way that we can process them and understand, okay, this happened, this led to this, this is why he made this decision for this. Because all of that information will then tell you, what do you need to have in place. So this doesn’t keep happening. In the beginning, a lot of people are not sure. And when I work with couples or individuals, they come in and they say, I have no idea a man will say I have no idea what my triggers are. I have no idea why keep going back to the addiction. I
hate it.
I don’t want it. This is wrecking my life. It’s wrecking my family. It’s It’s It’s damaging the relationship that I have with my wife, I do not want this in my life, yet. I have no idea why I keep going back to it. And the wife feels the same way. She’s like, why does this happen? And he says, I don’t know. There’s no safety in that. And sometimes, as I work with people, they need help, to be able to make sense of it and understand why it happened. They can’t do it on their own. But the goal ultimately is to figure out in this stage, what led to it, why is it happening. So you can create a foundation to then know what we need to have in place to resolve it. And again, that’s a big part of what I do want to help people in the process because getting that clarity is critical for them to be able to move forward and take those steps. Okay, two last things. Here’s the fourth one is she’s impacted. And then she continually experiences triggers. So what’s a trigger? a trigger is an external event, stimulus. It could be anything, it gets an external thing that sparks an internal reaction. And when I say thing that’s not very clear. It can be a picture it can be, it can be a place, it can be something that you see on TV, it can be an internal thing, too. It can be a memory. It’s basically an event that activates an emotional response within us. I worked with a client once where her husband was in the military, and he was overseas. And while he was in Germany, there was an affair that happened with a co worker. And he came home and he told her and says I want to fix this, I don’t want to lose you. This is something that happened. I need to figure out why it happened. And they came in to see me to sort this all out and get themselves on a better track. And she started to develop these triggers around Germany or anything related to Germany. So for instance, he was really into doing like model cars or planes or these models and whenever he would work on an old world war two memorabilia, or some kind of a model that would instantly trigger her to remember the fact that this affair happened in Germany, how could he have done this to me? And then she was spiral, and understandably so. So this external event or thing triggered this internal response of I’ve been so hurt. I it’s basically a reminder of I don’t I don’t have any trust in the relationship. I don’t know if he actually loves me, how could he have done this and all these thoughts just start to spiral. So triggers happen so commonly, there’s another client that I worked with, where she used to be triggered all the time. And part of the reason why that was the case was because she did not know what he was thinking or where He was looking when they were out in public. So I live in Las Vegas. So when he’s going to work, there’s billboards everywhere, if you go drive down the strip or on a certain section of the freeway, she didn’t know if he was gawking at the billboards and fantasizing and objectifying and thinking about them, or if he was out in public, if they were at a restaurant, and he looked around the room, she would instantly get triggered and think, is he looking at somebody else? And one of the things that really helped them to resolve these triggers is for her to really understand what was he doing? And he says, so when she shared this with him, and that this is why this is so overwhelming, and she can’t go out. She doesn’t want to go to the gym, because of the fear of what’s he doing. But when he clarified and said, I don’t, I understand where you’re coming from, and I could see why you would think that. But I want to just let you know, and help you understand what I see. I’m not out there looking at billboards, I don’t want to be thinking about that stuff. When I’m out in public. I am focusing and, and avoiding doing the thing that you’re afraid of me doing. I’m not fantasizing, objectifying, and my mind isn’t wandering into territory that I don’t want it to be. Because my goal is to work on the relationship with you. So I’m not doing those things. When she heard that, that was something that helped to instantly calm her down, because she thought, Okay, that’s good to know, I was making up these examples and scenarios in my head. And that just terrified me to think maybe he’s being triggered to act out in the addiction all the time. And I can’t control that. And it just again, Reese reinforced this fear of somebody else, or something else is going to come between us. And so that’s another key part of understanding these triggers and resolving them is to be able to, is to be able to figure out what’s causing the trigger. What does it reminding you of? Is it just resurfacing all the pain? Is it really bringing up the fact that there’s no trust, whatever it triggers, if it’s the hurt, that will then reveal the path to getting you what you need. If you’re hurt, you might need comfort or reassurance. If you feel this reminder of I don’t have trust, then that’s what we need to rebuild is create that in the relationship so you can start to develop trust triggers just are an indication of the things that are unresolved, so we can use them in the process to fully heal. And that’s the way that we do it. We just try to uncover what is this telling us this is feedback, something still feels raw, let’s resolve and process and heal that. So those things don’t continue to happen just like it was with this client that I was sharing with you about. Okay, the last thing that I want to share with you is mood swings. Mood swings is a very common symptom or impact of somebody who’s experienced what we call betrayal trauma, I guess I haven’t used that word Till now I wanted to just kind of these different symptoms, or effects of finding out that her husband struggles with an addiction, she often experiences what we call betrayal trauma. It literally mirrors symptoms of PTSD. And this goes back to what we talked about earlier, when we feel like our primary relationship, when we don’t have safety in our primary relationship, and it’s as a result of betrayal. Not only does the betrayal hurt, and then there’s two levels, the betrayal is so damaging. But then on the second level, it compromises or it damages the bond that we talked about earlier that is so important and critical to us as human beings. And so we experienced this traumatic reaction, where like we’ve talked about trust is impacted, she feels like she’s not enough and develops these negative beliefs about herself, she can relive the events have racing thoughts in ability to focus, there are triggers that happen all the time and mood swings. These are all very normal reactions, when somebody experiences an impact that leaves them feeling betrayed. So lastly, I want to share with you mood swings, this is so common, because one moment, she can reach for him for reassurance and comfort, the next moment,
she doesn’t want to have anything to do with them. She doesn’t even want to look at them or have him in the same room because it’s too painful. It’s so confusing for her because her husband now becomes both a source of pain and a source of comfort. So oftentimes, she does not know how to process that, and does not know how to work through that because it’s this push pull. Very confusing, dynamic. And so this is critical for both people to know. Because sometimes the husband will take this and say, Well, maybe I just should, maybe I should just stay away from her. She’s always mad at me. So I don’t want to make her mad. I don’t want to hurt her more. So I’m going to avoid talking about this issue. I’m going to minimize the contact that we have and I’m just going to give her her space. The reality is that one of the fastest ways for her to ground is to be able to get the comfort and reassurance of her partner sometimes she’s in a place where she doesn’t want that though other times she’s in a place where she does this is again you have to thread the needle when you’re doing this work with people and so when people come in i try to assess where are they in the process what do they need what’s missing what have they done what what do they still need to do and we put all this together in a cohesive structured plan so they know how to deal and navigate through all of these different complexities and so ultimately we want to create the kind of relationship where there is safety where she can turn to him and he can offer comfort and that will be something that she can really internalize and take in because of the work that he’s done as well so there’s different layers of this but ultimately like i said earlier mood swings are a big part of what happens because this is such a shocking and overwhelming situation so all of these symptoms there there are more that she’ll experience these are some common ones i want you to understand that the process of healing is possible so i want to just share with you briefly there’s a couple of things that i want to point you in the direction of number one a big part of healing the betrayal trauma that she feels is to resolve and heal and replace the negative beliefs that she has about herself so often she develops this belief of i’m not enough that i’m not good enough i’m not worthy i’m i’m worthless like these very painful beliefs a big part of the healing process for her as an individual is to heal those and replace them with things that are positive and there are a handful of different things that you can do with that one you can work within the relationship because of damage was done in the relationship healing can also be done within the relationship so i think healing those beliefs is critical secondly getting education about addiction so you can make sense out of what is going on for both people to have clarity like we talked about throughout this podcast episode having clarity about the truth and the reality of addiction and trauma will give you the insight and direction and the tools that you need to actually heal it another thing that i would encourage her to do is to be able to implement techniques to navigate the flurry of emotions so what would that look like well there’s mindfulness there’s an app that i recommend to everybody that i work with is called headspace it’s it mindfulness is simply being able to be aware and present with what’s going on instead of our mind taking over and we find ourselves down a rabbit hole of overwhelm and discouragement and fear because our thoughts amplify our experience so mindfulness or it’s like another way to ground yourself and recenter you’re emotionally able to be present with what’s going on without getting sucked into the experience which helps the emotions to pass faster another thing that’s very important is community having support and people to talk to so many people suffer in silence both men and women so getting community and support whether it’s with with family or friends or people that you trust this is such a critical part of what will help to stabilize and help people to heal and then the last thing that i want to share is him being able to take the steps to heal the damage that was done this is the most overlooked part of the process yes the addiction needs to be out of his life but there are also some very specific things that he can do to help heal the damage that’s taken place in the relationship and the damage that she’s experienced as a result of the addiction this is essential for couples to be able to move forward and heal him learning how to be there for her in the way that actually works and sometimes people get confused about this because they think well no i should do my own work and he should do his own work well yes i’m a huge advocate of individual work think about this betrayal trauma
the ptsd that results from a breach in the relationship that’s a result of a breakdown in the relationship homeostasis or emotional balance is achieved when we have connection when we have a safe and secure relationship so she feels betrayed as a result of the relationship breach then one of the most effective ways to heal the betrayal is to find stability and security and healing through repairing that breach there are lots of intricacies in terms of the relationship healing aspect of things but as couples are taking care of themselves and are learning ways to come back together in a healthy way in a way that’s safe in a way that feels comfortable that is one of the most powerful ways that you can achieve that inner balance some people wonder well what if my husband won’t do the work i’m going to share with you on a separate episode all about that because there’s a different approach obviously if he’s not willing to do the work but somebody that husbands that i work with they are willing to do work, they just need the direction and they need to know how to do it. So what I want to do is in the next episode, I want to talk all about the relationship aspect of the healing process. And what does this look like? And how does it happen. Because when people are working individually that’s important to have these ways to calm and to ground, and to heal and have community. And it’s critical that their relationship for those who are choosing to move forward, that there’s a path to be able to integrate and repair and reconnect. That’s one of the most overlooked parts of the process. So I’m going to start giving you some specific things to consider, and tools and ways to approach this. So feels like it’s much more manageable, and you can actually do it. So I appreciate you guys being here with me today. I know that it can be very overwhelming. So I wanted to lay out these handful of things and share with you the ways to some of the ways to navigate this, just so you can have some more stability and feel like your feet are underneath you. And you can take those steps to moving forward. So I hope that that was helpful as we’ve covered this ground today. And I look forward to having you join me on the next episode. Wait before you go, I want to tell you about the free course that I’m offering my podcast listeners. So make sure you go to couples healing.org to get access to it for free and start the process of healing on a deep level for him and the addiction for her with the trauma it’s created and for the relationship so you can know how to become stronger as you move forward on your journey. Hope to see you in there.
