“If your husband quits the porn, this WILL happen next”…
There’s a very common, huge misconception around husbands quitting porn and what it will mean for their marriage… This misconception is creating major problems, and what I consider to be one of the biggest mistakes I see couples making right now when it comes to saving their marriage after porn has left it’s trail of tears and broken promises…
This is going to sound counterintuitive, but stay with me I’m going to make it quick, because it’s something you need to know and truly understand if you want to stop the porn, the fighting, the silence, the insecurity, and the uncertainty of what’s going on in your relationship…
Ok, here goes…
Have you ever thought any of the following:
“If my husband would just stop the porn, we’d be fine”…
“Once he stops the porn (and stops lying about the porn)…
…all our problems will be gone”
…our marriage will be great”
…everything will be fine”
…we’ll be happy”
…we’ll live happily ever after”
(after all – The Porn Is The Problem)”
Now, all this sounds logical, in theory, because that’s where the problems “started”, but in real life, it doesn’t work that way, so…
Don’t fall for it, here’s why:
Thinking that just by stopping the behavior (the porn), everything will get better, be better, or even be OK, is like saying…
“Once you stop stomping on that glass you have already shattered all over the floor, it’ll be whole again”…
Absolutely impossible.
I wish it worked like this, I really do, but we have to live in reality if we want this to stop. If you really want to save your marriage…
I see it over and over… as hard as couples try to make this work, even AFTER the porn use has stopped, there’s more to be done…
And, I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right…
It’s not fair, and it’s not right, and not one bit of it is your fault, but stay with me…
Because you’ve been impacted at such a deep, soul-shattering level, if you want to save your marriage after porn has left its trail of heartache, sadness, depression, mistrust, and confusion…
There are 3 things that MUST BE ADDRESSED, and I’m going to share them with you right now:
#1: The PORN – you already know this, this is the obvious one. It absolutely must be stopped. And, there are 3 phases to the porn component alone: there’s stopping, maintaining, and permanently overcoming and eliminating the addiction once and for all.
The remaining 2 I’m about to share are the ones that everyone overlooks, thinking that once the porn is stopped, everything just snaps back into place…
This is also where it gets very interesting…
Here’s what I mean – I’ve found that if you focus on all 3, instead of just the porn addiction alone, that overcoming and maintaining freedom from porn is dramatically increased. So, just by focussing on and taking care of the remaining 2, you’ll be increasing the odds that your husband will be able to stop and maintain freedom from porn permanently, which is exactly what you both want. Again, most of the time we don’t want to do this, because we think that we have to put all of our attention on the addiction, but once we make this shift, and with the right information – everything changes…
Here they are…
#2: Your Trauma – Here’s why this is non-negotiable in saving your marriage, and why so many couples aren’t able to… What you share with others about what you’re going thru with your husband sounds like ‘overreacting’ to a lot of people (especially friends and family that have never gone through it). I know because so many wives have told me how isolated and self-conscious they feel. Because of this, women are forced to suffer through this alone and in silence, they develop depression and anxiety, they often take on misplaced guilt as they repeatedly wonder what’s wrong with them for feeling so deeply hurt by their husband’s porn use… Kinda like being married to a heroin addict, except it destroys the wife like she is being forced to use it too… (while friends and family downplay it or completely fail to acknowledge it at all).
#3: The Couple – The two of you together, moving forward against the odds, on the same team, in a powerful, unshakeable new way… The dynamic must shift here in a very specific way in order to create quick, productive, permanent shifts that finally allow for growth and reconnection in your marriage. Once you reach this point, most couples experience more closeness than they had prior to the porn ever starting. This is when true healing is felt, and you’ll experience the closeness and connection you’ve always wanted so you’ll both finally be able to let “this whole porn thing” be a thing of the past.
Now, I go into a lot more detail in the free class I just created. If you haven’t watched it yet, please click here and watch it now (I don’t know how long it’ll be available, so please be sure to watch now).
If you’ve already watched it… then you know the next step is to join us inside of the Effortless Connection Program…
A couple quick questions you might have about how it’ll help save your marriage:
Regarding the porn addiction: as mentioned above, this must be stopped, we cover it in the program and meet your husband exactly where he’s at, whether he’s already stopped, is still trying to overcome, or is in maintenance…
If he’s already got a great hold on it, no problem – he’s got it, we get it. We’re here if and when needed with the tools for each level to help stop, maintain and permanently overcome the addiction.
In regards to traditional counseling, therapy, SA or any other type of program: if you’re already in one or more of these, The Effortless Connection Program will enhance and expedite your results. If you’ve been considering counseling or another program, but have not started yet, I invite you to try this first, right now. This is a unique methodology, and the only program of its kind to address porn addiction and the CORE 3 in the specific way needed in order to restore your marriage.
And finally, please know that you’re not alone. This addiction has reached epidemic levels in our country, and you don’t have to do it yourself or rely on old outdated methods that don’t work. You don’t have to end up living miserably with this forever, separated, or divorced…
You don’t have to accept just ‘hope’.
There’s more than hope, there’s healing…
The fighting, lying, loneliness, pressure, confusion, sadness, disconnection, betrayal, mistrust, and fear of it happening all over again… can be eliminated when you get the right tools. I created a free course where you can get the help you need to find freedom from the impact of the addiction and restore the relationship.
Click here to get free access:
Find Freedom and Heal Your Relationship
Looking forward to seeing you inside…